those eyes
by OneHUGEvirginia
Summary: My phone displayed a number I hadn't seen in quite a while. I had deleted its owner's contact, but it didn't matter because I knew all seven digits by heart. Seddie.
1. Chapter 1

**Got a little drabble for you guys! I hope you enjoy it! I'm debating a second chapter.. let me know what you think. oHv xx**

I guess you could say we were best friends or something. I couldn't tell you how it happened, because I honestly have no idea. When she called, I was always there. When I called she was (most of the time) there. If she was being an inconsiderate pain in the ass, I'd tell her. If I was being a 'dorky son of a bitch' she'd always let me know. We were always the first to know everything about each other. She'd sneak into my room on the weekends and wake me up with some sort of prank involving shaving cream, and then talk to me about everything that came to her mind, but eventually she would always go back to the classic topic of "what's going to happen when senior year is over". It was because she was scared. Scared of being left alone and forgotten. She'd never tell me that out loud, but it was okay because I already knew. She knew I knew it too, which is why she talked to me about it as opposed to Carly. Carly was already set to be headed off to New York for college, so she couldn't really relate to the subject like we could. We were both planning on staying in Washington for college. This she took comfort in.

* * *

I never saw it coming when reality decided to finally smack me hard across the face. I could blab on about how she broke into my room the night after graduation, kissed me senseless and then just left without a word. But I'm not. To tell you the truth, I can't even remember exactly what happened. Just the basics. And I honestly can't explain why I'm so angry about the whole thing. If she's going to be a coward and run away from what she feels for the rest of her life, she an go ahead. I'm sure as hell not running after her. Not this time.

* * *

She confused the hell out of me today. Even now, hours after the fact, I'm still utterly flabbergasted. I had been on a simple lunch/study date with a girl in my advanced calculus class. Out of absolutely nothing..BAM. My phone displayed a number I hadn't seen in quite a while. I had deleted its owner's contact, but it didn't matter because I knew all seven digits by heart. The most sincere apology I had ever received in my life (from Her of all people) appeared onto my screen, as if pulled out of thin air. I was actually a little pissed off she hadn't just fucking grew a pair and called me instead of texting me. Being very flustered, I exited the restaurant and I called her. She told me she would visit me sometime soon.

* * *

No texts or calls. Not a single sign that she still was connected to me as a friend to say the least. Aside from the occasional likes on Facebook pictures. Just tiny things that made sure I knew she knew I still existed. Until today. Again, I was in the middle of some activity (dinner with my college friend) when she caught me out of nowhere. A Coldplay song lit up my phone as her number flashed across my screen, making my heart stop. I rudely dropped whatever I was doing and headed outside. Hands trembling, I returned her call. She asked for my permission to accompany me to the senior night football game. I accepted. I couldn't finish the rest of my dinner. My entire body was trembling in fear as we approached the field. There she was. The first time I had made eye contact with those chaotic blue eyes in almost three months. The same ones that had shown me friendship and laughter, and all at the same time, bitterness and hurt. The same ones that my best friend once held. The same old flash struck my heart when I saw her, still as beautiful as ever. God I had missed it. Her eyebrows lifted, and her features lit up as she saw me. She flashed a large smile at me, which quickly faded into one of her classic careless and crooked smiles. I awkwardly walked up to her and received a surprisingly warm hug, followed by a punch in the arm. It was unusually longer than a natural greeting hug would be. We both had a reason for it. She kissed me on the cheek, which in truth actually freaked me out a little. It felt good to laugh with her again, and to put our differences aside, and fall back into our usual banter. When the game ended, I left with a rather awkward goodbye. My thoughts have been clouded ever since. I knew that I had done right by making her make the first initiative. Not going to lie, it felt pretty awesome to be right for once. Although she still hasn't fully explained to me her actions that night. She may never.

* * *

She's surprised me yet again. She came all the way to my Seattle Tech. dorm room, climbed up my fire escape and broke into my apartment just to talk. She never just wanted to talk anymore. I simply went with the conversation she stared. It was actually very pleasant to hear from her again. I love talking to her, in fact. I have this act that I still hate her for what she did. But I don't. Not even a little. I could never bring myself to actually hate her, no matter what she does to me. I'm still drifting in the confusion pool. I'll never figure her out.

* * *

It's been a few weeks. Things have already changed drastically. I had been simply texting her from time to time, even though I hadn't seen her since the football game. Football season has already passed. Sometime at the end of September, we decided to meet up for dinner. We went to Groovy Smoothie and just talked about everything. She's changed already since that football game. She's through her first quarter at WU and she's still the same blonde badass we all know and love. But I could still see the hurt stitched deep into her light eyes. It was rarely awkward, which was strange, considering I hadn't been alone with her in about three and a half months. I missed her a whole lot more than I thought I did, or would have. When we said our goodbyes, we shared a brief hug. I'm almost positive I held onto her a little longer than I should have.

* * *

About a month had passed since our last encounter, when I decided to text her. I was in town visiting my mother, and I asked her if she wanted to catch dinner and a movie (almost immediately regretting the text the moment I sent it I might add) I had caught her on a very chilled weekend, with her schooling I'm guessing, so she accepted. We met at the movie theater and I basically bought the entire concession stand for her before the movie started. There was a small haze of awkwardness in the very beginning of our movie day, but it soon faded into laughter and enjoyment. For the first time in a year we'd made yet another inside joke. To be honest it felt great. Just, to be back on my feet with her again. One thing that was slightly strange to me was that I had such a hard time making full on eye contact with her. I'm almost positive it had to do with the memories those piercing sapphire eyes had locked away. The kiss that she had shared with me so long ago fought long and hard to spill from my mind. "Why haven't we talked about the _it_ yet? Why did you do it? Why?" But I couldn't. Every time I looked at her dead on, I almost trembled. It's amazing how powerful a pair of eyes can be. I had obviously seen blue eyes before, but none like hers. They were unique, and held all of her emotions, and somehow reflected mine back at me. It was almost like they had a mind of their own.

* * *

She visited me with Carly not too long after our last meeting. Something was different about her. She seems a lot happier, and definitely a lot more beautiful. She's always been beautiful, but now it was absurd. I was hanging out alone with her tomorrow. We're going to Mario's Pizza Parlor and then to the crappy movie theater just across from it. I just can't pin why I'm so nervous to see her. It's just her normal self. With that skin, that hair, those eyes..

* * *

We met again a little more than a month later, doing the same thing. Mario's and the crappy movie theater. It's almost started to become a sort of monthly tradition to meet there and catch up. I never dreamed our friendship would be like this. It's a lot less of her that I would like to see, but hey. It's something. During the most recent get together we've had, we mostly reverted to talking about college life and how shocking it would be if Spencer hadn't burned his apartment down due to Carly's absence of supervision. It felt appropriate to tell her that I had a girlfriend. I would never say it to her, but for some reason her face pops into my mind every time I've gone in to kiss this girl. Her name is Julia. And she's Her polar opposite. All I can say is that she is the epitome of a Disney Princess. When sharing all of this with her, she told me how 'she was happy for me, that I had someone kinda cool like Julia'. But something about the way her ocean eyes looked was wrong. I could have sworn I saw a flash of hurt in them when I spoke of Julia. Like "You're replacing me? How? Why?" But it disappeared as quickly as it entered. Things emotional like that never stayed with her for long. But it was probably just my imagination anyway.

* * *

**Ehh kind of just something I had in my head. Review if you want me to write another chapter! :) Good to be back. xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I was happy to see some positive feedback on the last chapter, so I decided to continue. I think I might take this to a three shot..idk. Sorry, this one's a little shorter.  
**

**Thank you for all the reviews! **

**- ilovetoshipseddie : Yup! That's my YouTube channel! Glad to know you watch my videos! I work really hard on them!**

**- Lackadaisical Pajamas: OH MY GOD. I cannot believe you're reading my story! You're amazing. I'm pretty sure I've read all of your Seddie stories at least twice. Thank you for your review! **

**You guys rock. **

**oHv xx**

* * *

Her voice cracked as she spoke to me softly on the phone. "I.. I just don't know what to do anymore." I was confused. I had no idea what she was getting at. "Julia, just calm down. What are you trying to say?" Silence. "Julia?" I knew she was still on the line because I still could hear her heavy breathing. "Does it hurt?.. To pretend to love someone you wish was someone else?" It all came to me in that moment. I was suddenly completely taken over with rage. "Damn it Julia! What do you want from me? I've tried everything to prove to you that what I have with _her_ (I just couldn't say her name right then) isn't anything to be worried about! We're.. best friends. That's all." I was lying, and I silently hoped to God she wouldn't pick up on it. "Freddie, I know you're worried about hurting me, okay? I know you don't want to. But just forget about me for a while. I'm not made of glass. What do_ you_ want?" She was right. I didn't want to hurt her. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting her. But she was also right in that I wasn't happy. With her and not the someone else I had always ached for. She didn't deserve that. There was a cold silence for a while before she broke it. "Do you love her?" Her words jolted me into a state of shock.

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"_Do you love her?!_" She shouted, catching me by complete surprise. At that moment, a tear rolled down my cheek. I gripped at my hair in frustration and let out a very small and hoarse "Yes."

* * *

It had been a few weeks since the night Julia had broken it off with me. I still feel slightly guilty for not feeling the lease bit of sadness. I didn't spend the next day drinking or sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself. I just simply went on with my life with no trouble at all. And it was all because of that stupid, curly haired devil. My only problem was my chronic loss of sleep, which had been going on for months. I was used to the baggy eyes and addiction to coffee by now. At the most I got about two to four hours of sleep a night. But even that little amount of sleep comes with a price because all my dreams are of her.

_Every fucking one._

What's sad is, I'm too much of a damn coward to do anything about it.

* * *

It was 3:37 AM and I had picked up my Pearphone and begun to dial the forbidden seven digits that had been haunting me for the past year. I was asleep about an hour and a half ago, having a particularly intense one of my plagued dreams, when I was awoken by the loud banging of my neighbor's fist on my door. He said I had woken him and his whole family up with my shouting. After explaining and apologizing to him, he left with a simple "You should see a therapist." And now here I am. This had to stop. I was fucking screaming in my sleep. Loud enough to wake an entire family, I might add. My face flushed and my stomach lurched as the first ring of my call sounded. I closed my eyes tightly, silently praying that she would ignore my call. I mean, it was three o'clock in the morning. She was bound to be asleep.

_She picked up. _

I was trying to control the thoughts racing through my brain as I heard her rustling around, probably sitting up in her bed. "Fredward, you better have a damn good reason for calling me at three fucking o'clock." My breath hitched and my face contorted into one of anxiety and frustration.

"I.. I.." I breathed low and heavy into the phone.

"You're freaking me out, Freddison."

How the hell were you supposed to explain to someone like her that she was the cause of your insomnia?

"Can you come over.. right now..?" I asked her, my face tightening up even further. "Freddie, it's three in the morning, I-"

"I know what _fucking_ time it is." I cut her of sharply. I could tell by the silence that she was a little pissed I had cut her off.

"I need to see you. I really need to see you." I probably sounded desperate, but I didn't give a damn at this point. I could hear her make a deep, annoyed huff as she abruptly hung up the phone. My face softened as a smile made its way onto my face.

That meant she was coming.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! This miiighhhttt be the last one.. I don't know. I'm so so sorry for the delay! I was on a three-week mission trip. But I hope you like this one! Thank you for all the amazing reviews!**

**To answer one question, YES I do have a YouTube channel with the same username oneHUGEvirginia. Check my videos out! :) **

**Love you guys.**

**oHv xx**

I was feeling sick to my stomach as I watched the clock on my bedside table angrily display the time "4:11 AM". I had been waiting for exactly thirty-one minutes since She ended the call with me. Yes, I had been counting. Maybe I was crazy. Maybe she wouldn't even come. I shifted uncomfortably in the position I was sitting in on my chair in the corner of the room. I felt like I was going to puke. What if- *bang bang bang!* My stomach dropped as I lurched to open the retched door that separated me from _her_. I closed my eyes and gripped the doorknob with trembling hands. _Be a man_. I swiftly opened the door to reveal what I had been dying, _aching_ for. Her.

* * *

"Why are you looking at me like that? It's creepin' me out, Fredface."

I snapped out of the trance her eyes had lured me into immediately upon hearing her speak. I hadn't seen her in a month, and the sick feeling had disappeared the moment I saw her; she was the cure.

"Are you going to make me stand outside your door for eternity, or..?" she quips, swiftly entering my dorm as I stepped aside for her. It was like a shock to my system every time I saw her. She had me dumbfounded. And I was stupid enough to think that a 'girlfriend' would make me forget her and the feelings that came along with her. I shook my head and followed her into my room. For some reason I nearly gasped when I saw her climb onto my bed and bury herself into the sheets.

"So why am I here again?" Shit. Why had I summoned her here? What was I even supposed to say?

"I.. I can't.." The sad attempt at a sentence spilled out of my lips as she gave me the cutest look of pure confusion.

"You and Julia on the rocks or something?"

"We broke up."

"Oh. Well then what's up?"

I took a deep, frustrated breath. Could she honestly not figure it out? Maybe she didn't want to.

"Come closer." She says, catching me completely off guard. I obeyed, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the comforter.

"Just tell me. Can't be that bad." She says sternly, looking up at me with those damn eyes. At that moment, I looked deep into her eyes for the first time without being compelled to look away. They were a window to her soul, and they were too complex for me to even begin to understand.

"How am I supposed to tell someone that they're the cause of my fucking insomnia? That they're the reason I woke up my neighbors because I was _screaming_ in my sleep. How?" The words came out of my mouth dryly, and without my consent. She looks at me and laughs. _Laughs._

"That was a pretty good way to do it." I was a little pissed that she was taking this as if it were just a joke. It wasn't. She took a deep sigh, and a lock of her blond curls fell into her face as she sat up in the bed.

"I-"

"I know." She cuts me off. I give her a dumbfounded look. She rolled her eyes and let out a groan as she got up out of the bed and stood closely in front of me. I was still sitting down as she sat on my lap, wrapping her arms completely around my neck, and pressed her forehead against mine.

"I know." She repeats. "Me too, nub."

We look at each other, but we don't smile. Instead we're scared.

* * *

My whole body was trembling. We had been in this brutally comfortable position for nearly ten minutes, our foreheads pressed against each other, eyes closed. Just listening to the other breath. My eyes don't open when I feel her legs wrap around my waist. And they don't open when I feel her press a soft, sloppy kiss to my lips. I responded immediately by gripping her back so tightly that it probably hurt her. I felt the ends of the silky curls that fell down her back tickle my fingers, as I moved my hands further up her back. And for some reason it set me on fire. I felt her tongue enter my mouth. And in that moment, I knew that some day.. maybe far into the future.. I would be with _her_ for the rest of my life. I would be able to call her mine forever. The thought exhilarated me. She raked her nails through my hair once more before pulling away agonizingly slow. Only then did my eyes finally open. And were met with the most beautiful sight ever available to me. Her, and the maze that made up those starling azure eyes.

We said nothing the rest of the night, taking comfort in the fact that we would both be sleeping soundly from now on.

**"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to a new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same."**

**- Anonymous**


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